When St. James Calls

So, today is the day. In less than 12 hours we’ll be on the plane. Surprisingly, I’m mostly packed. It’s been a process, though, and I still haven’t packed some of the absolute essentials. I’ve noticed that I’ve fallen into one of my really bad habits: when I have something really important to do, I seem to do other things that aren’t important at all. For example, in the past week, when I should have been packing and making sure I had everything, I learned half a song on the piano and finished half of a book that has nothing to do with the Camino.

As the Camino gets closer, though, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that this is actually happening. I’ve dreamed of this for years. When we started seriously talking about it last year, I could hardly believe that this would really happen. Now I stand ready to board the plane, and I’ve never been more nervous or excited in my life.

I think I’m about as prepared as I can be. I’ve done a good amount of research, I have all the equipment that I should need, and I’ve been training these past few weeks. I know that things might go wrong, and I know that no amount of training is going to prepare me for the pounding that’s coming.

There are some things, though, that I can’t prepare for. I really don’t know what awaits us along the way, and I don’t mean the wild dogs. I am pretty confident that this is going to be a life-changing trip. I doubt the changes will be monumental, but there is a reason for my going on this pilgrimage, and that reason will be something that will affect my life.

As one complete stranger once put it, “St. James is calling.” Why? What is it about a 500-mile walk that has anything to do with my life today? I don’t know, and that is what has me balancing on the thin line between excitement and anxiety. Slowing down for a month is going to reveal things about myself that I might not want to see. 

Regardless of what’s ahead, St. James has called, and I’m coming. I wish I had his faith to leave his nets and his father at the call of Christ. I’ve taken my time preparing and have tried to keep control as much as possible. At a certain point, though, I’m going to have to let go of all my preparations and just walk.